Sermon for the Way Home
Still Playing Musical Chairs?
Matthew 23:1–12
Being lifted up is not a seat we grab for ourselves; it is a seat God gives us.
To help you carry Sunday's message home, here are five short guides for different seasons of life. Choose the one that fits where you are, and read it slowly.
Married couples
In our home, who gets the best seat?
Where we sit
At the end of a long day, we sometimes find ourselves keeping score: who had the harder day, who did more. Wanting our own effort to be noticed first, we nudge each other's chairs aside, little by little.
Before the Word
Jesus said, "The greatest among you shall be your servant" (23:11). And true to His word, He rose from the place of honour at the table and washed His disciples' feet. In a marriage, the greater one is the one who gets up first.
Something to try
This week, each of you say "Thank you, it's because of you" to the other at least once, and be specific about what you are grateful for.
A shared confession
Lord, I have looked for the place of recognition first. Since I am already seated with You, today I will be the first to rise and serve my spouse.
Prayer points
- Eyes that notice each other's labour first
- A table of service rather than a contest for seats
- Hands that share the load of a weary spouse
Those whose spouse sees faith differently
Could my faith look like an oversized phylactery to my spouse?
Where we sit
With a spouse who does not believe, or whose faith runs at a different temperature, we can be tempted to teach with Bible verses or to put our piety on display. The harder we try, the more our spouse sees us rather than the Word.
Before the Word
The Pharisees had God's Word on their lips, but not in their hands and feet (23:3). What our spouse needs is not a bigger phylactery, but hands and feet shaped by the Word.
Something to try
This week, say less about faith, and quietly do one thing for your spouse that they have not asked for.
A shared confession
Lord, I have tried hard to prove my faith. From now on I want to show You through service rather than words. It is You, not I, who opens my spouse's heart.
Prayer points
- A heart that honours rather than judges
- Wisdom to serve through life more than words
- That God Himself would meet my spouse's heart
Parents of primary-age children
Is our child already learning to play musical chairs?
Where we sit
Reward stickers, spelling scores, being first in the queue. Children learn early that "you win if you sit down first", and without meaning to, we cheer them on.
Before the Word
In Jesus' kingdom the seats are turned around. The one who serves is the greatest, and it is God who lifts up (23:11–12). And Jesus has already prepared a place for us (Ephesians 2:6).
Something to try
Play 'everyone sits' musical chairs with your child. As chairs are taken away, no one is ever out: you squeeze together, sit on laps and hold on until everyone has a seat. Then tell them, "Jesus has already got a seat ready for you, so we never need to push our friends away."
A shared confession
Lord, let my child learn to serve before learning to win. Help me to show them the way first.
Prayer points
- A child's heart that welcomes rather than pushes others away
- Parents who praise the heart more than the result
- A child growing up secure in knowing that God sees them
Parents of teenagers and older children
What burden have I tied onto my child's shoulders?
Where we sit
"Have you done your revision?" "Where do you think those marks will get you?" We tie on the heavy load of grades and future plans, and spend less and less time sitting beside them to help carry it.
Before the Word
The Pharisees laid heavy burdens on others' shoulders and would not lift a finger to move them (23:4). Jesus said, "Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden" (11:28), and He carried that burden on His own shoulders.
Something to try
This week, swap one lecture for one helping hand. Bring a snack to a child studying late, or simply sit beside them for a while without saying anything. That is enough.
A shared confession
Lord, I have been quick to add weight and slow to lend a hand. As You carried my burden, I will now put my hand beneath my child's.
Prayer points
- Ears that listen to my child's heart first
- A heart that values my child above their marks
- That my child would find their place in God
Single members
Are you worn out from proving that your seat looks good enough?
Where we sit
Career, salary, marriage, life on social media. Set beside people our age, our own chair can look so small. So today we choose a photo, then choose again.
Before the Word
The Pharisees made their phylacteries broad and their tassels long, to be seen by others (23:5). But we have a Father who sees in secret. And in Christ we are already seated with Him in the heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6).
Something to try
For one day this week, post nothing at all, and tell God alone about one grace you received that day.
A shared confession
Lord, I am weary of searching for my place in other people's eyes. Since I am already seated beside You, I will walk my own path without hurrying.
Prayer points
- Gratitude in place of comparison
- The joy of serving unseen
- Faith to trust the time and place God has prepared
The game of musical chairs is over. The highest seat already has its Owner, and He has seated us with Him.