Are we turning to each other only when we need something?

A child’s illness, money worries, the housework: we speak when something has to be sorted, and on quiet days each of us sits with our own phone. We can come to know one another only as the person who sorts things out.

If we know Jesus only in part, we turn to Him only when we need Him, and the same can happen between husband and wife. The more we know who He is, the more we want to be with Him in every season. And because He first came looking for us (1 John 4:19), we find the strength to look for one another first.

Do I show my spouse a Jesus who is only there to meet our needs?

If I pray and go to church mainly when things are hard, my spouse may see a faith that appears only when it is convenient. And when my spouse stays away from worship, the nagging can come before the love.

Jesus does not turn away those who come to Him in need, and He first came looking for us. We can do the same and go to our spouse first, in love. Another person’s heart is known only to God and to them. A life that turns to Jesus in good times and hard ones is the quietest witness of all.

Is my child coming to know Jesus only as the One who answers requests?

“Let’s pray to Jesus” comes out before exams, when a child is ill, or when there is something they want, and on ordinary days we never mention Him. The little one at our nursery first knew me as the one who gives treats, and later hugged me without one. Children come to know us in just that way.

We do not send away a child who comes for a treat, and Jesus does not turn away those who come for what they need. But if a child knew Him only in that way for life, it would be a sad thing. On an ordinary day, with nothing asked, say simply, “Thank you, Jesus, for being with us today.” That teaches a child that He is the One who is with us.

Do I mention Jesus to my child only when they are struggling, and otherwise only ask, “Did you go to church?”

When there are exams, career worries or friendship problems, we say “pray” or “go to church”, and on ordinary days faith never comes up. A young person can come to feel that faith is emergency medicine.

If Jesus is known only as the One we turn to when we need Him, He is forgotten on ordinary days. What teaches a child most is a parent who turns to Him in joy and in trouble alike. When things go well for your child, be the first to say, “Let’s thank Jesus.”

When do I turn to Jesus first: only when I am anxious, only when I am lonely?

When the future feels uncertain, or loneliness weighs on us, or work and relationships are not going well, we reach for Him eagerly. When things go smoothly, we get busy and drift. Living on our own, it is easy to turn to Him only when we need Him.

When it is hard, we turn to Him because He is our Saviour. When things go well, we turn to Him because He is our Lord. The One who is closest is beside us even on a day when we need nothing. This week, try going to Him once, asking for nothing.